Watch out for the “disobedience basket”!

It upsets me when I find my children’s shoes or wet towels in the laundry basket! However, children aren’t the only guilty party when it comes to baskets! Parents also “throw” things into “baskets” where they do not belong…

Every time our children don’t do what we expect of them, we say they are “naughty”. This “disobedience basket” is all too convenient, because it places all the blame on our children. We can punish them for their disobedience and then wash our hands in innocence.

However, when we take a closer look at our so-called naughty children, we might find our own shoes and wet towels in that convenient basket. Is my child’s inappropriate behaviour towards our domestic assistant disobedience … or might she just be following my example? Is my child’s poor work ethic a sign of disobedience or is it the result of it being too much effort and too unpleasant for me to assign chores to my children and monitor them in completing these in and around the house?

Before we take the easy way out, we sometimes ought to take an in-depth look at our children’s “dirty laundry” to ascertain what the real issues are. What skills does he lack? What does my child not yet understand? Most often you will discover that it’s not naughtiness, but rather immaturity and the lack of opportunity to practice without pressure. Children are, by definition, emotionally immature, prone to accidents, inexperienced in social settings and struggling with ways to ask for attention.

Then, with compassion, we can “polish the shoes” by spending much more time with our children. This will enable us to determine where to focus our time and effort. Our purpose is to sharpen their skills, build resilience, and impart values.

Although it will take time and effort, this is far more important than doing laundry, do you agree?